Christmas

We had an amazing Christmas, spent a lot of time with my family and we really enjoyed ourselves.

I was going to post a video of Michaela opening her Nintendo DS (classic Christmas video) but Blogger wouldn't post it...I'll try again later!

In the next couple of days I'll be changing Michaela's bedroom from flowers and butterflies to Hannah Montana...well just a few things need to be changed (pictures and wallpaper boarder).
We have had a great holiday, just relaxing and enjoying each other. we're having a pajama party tonight, which means Michaela picks a movie and we put on our pajamas and snuggle and enjoy a movie...I love these times!

Oh and seriously how cute is my cat Dixie! I was in the kitchen and seen she had jumped up into my shelves...I had to grab the camera.

Merry Christmas

Wow where did November and December go??? I am amazed that Christmas is 3 days away...I am all ready and quite relaxed. I don't buy into the busy, crazy overbooked Christmas time stuff. I like to kick back, what gets done get done and what doesn't didn't really need to.

This attitude didn't come easy, 7 years ago on December 21, 2001, my mum passed away very suddenly. She was the most amazing woman ever!!! I was very close to her and this was such a shock to all of us...she had a heart attack. 2 years ago today, December 22, 2006, Ron was diagnosed with a brain tumor...no one ever expects this.

Now, while I still love Christmas I realize that it isn't about the perfect this or that. It is about Christ's birth, and celebrating it. I love decorating and spending time with my family. I love giving gifts that I've either made or bought (I actually made quite a few this year...hopefully more next year). It is spending time with my family and friends, having fun playing with my daughter and making memories.

This year Michaela and I have overloaded on Christmas movies and tv shows, we've had hot chocolate and drove around looking at Christmas lights...we've just relaxed and enjoyed the wonders of the season...it has been awesome!!

Organizing Round-up

So in November my pal Laura over at I'm an Organizing Junkie had her regular monthly round-up and this time it was the laundry room...oh my word it was the direct kick in the pants that I needed!!

I've never actually had a laundry room until we moved into this house 2 1/2 years ago...and only until a few months ago it was used as an entry into our basement suite which was rented out. Well now I have no renters and have combined the suite in with the house...so my idea was to have a "mud" room and laundry room.

BEFORE PICTURES...WARNING!!

This is the door way into the room..doesn't it look inviting...yeah I wouldn't want to come in there every day either!

And as if laundry wasn't enough of a chore I had to come here to do it...notice the plastic drawers between the washer and dryer this was an attempt at organizing last year. Yeah I'm glad I have a friend like Laura as well.

Sorry for the quality of this picture...I guess even the camera is afraid to work in such a mess as well. This is my deep freeze...or place to pile things on.

AFTER PICTURES!!

I moved the shoe rack (haven't gotten all the shoes moved yet) and the plastic drawer that wasn't being used between the washer and dryer here, now we can store our winter hats, scarfs and gloves...much handier.

Here I have the washer and dryer...now it is a much neater place. I've organized the shelves above to hold the things that I need for laundry (pretreater, dryer sheets, bleach and soap). I also picked up this laundry sorter basket thingy, it fits perfectly between the washer and dryer.

Now I was able to move the deep freeze into the kitchen part of the old suite and it created room for these shelves. I can now store some painting supplies (because this room is in desperate need of a paint job...maybe in the new year), overstock things (like the Charmin) and my fall decorations...I'm sure I'll find several other items to store there as well.

I'm loving this room now, while it may need a bit (and by bit I mean a ton) of paint and a new floor...that will get done eventually. For now this is working great...I'm just so glad that I was able to get it done!!

Christmas Meme

Michaela and I have been sick the last little while, we are both on antibiotics. She is doing much better...I'm getting there!

But we're still in the Christmas spirit...I found this meme on My Life as Annie's blog...and I really enjoyed it.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? both! I love wrapping presents, using nice paper and ribbon and bows...but some really need to be in bags.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree? Mid November...I know very early.

4. When do you take the tree down? January 2nd.

5. Do you like eggnog? No...gross!!!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Commodore Vic20...yes my first computer had 20kbs of memory....wow I'm old. I was 14 and I actually cried with joy when I opened it...it was such a surprise.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, we got a porcelain one from Costco...gorgeous. Of course now Michaela plays with it so the pieces are slowing breaking...most have been glued together several times.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Ron's dad.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Michaela...which is probably why I've already gotten her too much!

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A dream catcher.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Christmas with the Kranks.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? All year.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Garlic sausage, cheddar cheese and Ritz crackers (all together)...this was always our Christmas day lunch.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear, I got a prelit tree last year with all clear...I'm kind of wishing I'd gotten coloured lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Donner, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Prancer, Vixon.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Pajama's Christmas Eve, the rest Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Greed.

23. What I love most about Christmas? Singing, giving gifts, decorating, baking...pretty much everything.

Things I have done...

Saw this on Annie's blog and thought it looked interesting~
The things I have done are in italics and highlighted:

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (school band)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching - I've seen whales from a boat...does that count??
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - not on purpose...banking error
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Visited to Mt. Rushmore
101. Learned to play a musical instrument - learned and have forgotten

My Day at Emerg.

Michaela has been sick this week, cold, cough...general winter stuff. This morning we went to church and she was feeling okay...her voice was still pretty raspy but she was doing fine. Then a few minutes into worship she comes to me crying so hard...her neck hurt. I thought that maybe she had twisted it and pulled the muscle or something so we sat for a bit and then I decided to take her home.

While I was in the church parking lot I called my sister (she is my go to gal when I need advice). So we decided that I should take her to emerg to have her checked out.

Apparently her glands are swollen and she has an infection, we were in there for 3 hours...it was a busy place for a Sunday morning. But now she is on her medicine and hopefully now she is on the road to recovery!!

I Can't Sleep

Oh my goodness I can't sleep!!!

It is 3am and here I am typing, reading and watching the news....

I should have known that this would happen, I had a little nap today...not a normal thing for me to do. Michaela was sick today so we both stayed home from school and well we cuddled on the couch and there I was napping...never a good thing!

Things have been pretty busy around here, we actually got our Christmas stuff up this weekend...yes that is right!! Outside and inside are all decked out for the season!

I love Christmas, although it is a bit of a bitter sweet holiday for me. In 2001 my mum suddenly passed away from a heart attack on December 21st, it was such a shock to my family because she hadn't even been sick. Then 5 years later on December 22nd Ron was diagnosed with a brain tumor...you'd kind of think that I would avoid this holiday.

It has such amazing meaning to me, the birth of our Saviour means that I will see both of them again. It means that I can assure my daughter that her daddy isn't too far away because he accepted Jesus as his saviour...we will all be together again. How can I not celebrate that. It is a great way to share this with Michaela, we have started traditions that keeps Ron a part of our celebration. Oh yeah and family, friends, food and shopping!!!

Getting in Control

Now for the last little while my life has been in total upheaval, I was learning how to be a single mother, dealing with a daughter who desperately missed her daddy and trying to keep it all together.

For a time with Michaela I was letting her get away with things, spoiling her with gifts, basically I was creating a brat! I would threaten her with consequences that weren't going to happen...she realized that.

I have a wonderful close friend who took me aside and told me that I'd better start reining her in because if I let it go too much longer I wouldn't be able to ever gain control. I love friends who can in love tell you the truth, she told me things that were the absolute truth...and I knew it. But not only that she helped me, she let me know what I was doing wrong...also what I was doing right.

Things have really changed, Michaela was longing for boundaries, she needed rules...she is flourishing with her new found limits. I'm so thankful that God has given me friends who can tell me the truth in a loving and kind manner. I'm so thankful that even though it isn't always easy I've been able to keep up with consequences for bad behaviour, and reward for good (who doesn't love being told that they are doing a great job).

While I still don't have it all together (and probably never will), I'm really starting to feel like my life is so much more manageable. I'm getting in my prayer time and studying God's word...that is always such a benefit!!!

Oh yeah and we didn't win the cruise, but that is okay...Tam and I are going to Breakforth in Edmonton...and meeting up with Jen there!!!

Menu Planning Monday

Well here I go, I feel so in control this week because I've gotten my menu plan and my groceries done!! I've never had the Beef and Cabbage soup or the Pork Tenderloin yet but I'm looking forward to trying them.

Monday - Beef and Cabbage Soup (slow cooker)

Tuesday - Taco Salad

Wednesday - Homemade Pizza

Thursday - Clams with Tomatoes and Garlic

Friday - Chicken, Potatoes and Corn

Saturday - Whatever we can find

Sunday - Pork Tenderloin with Mushroom Sauce, Rice and Carrots

Oh I think this week is off to a great start with having the most stressful part of it done!!

Winning a Cruise!

I'm entering a contest to win a Girl's Getaway Cruise...wow wouldn't that be amazing!

For the last couple of years it seems like I've been living someone else's life. I will try and explain why a friend and I need a cruise.

When you hear the words from the doctor that your husband has a brain tumor...it can't happen to us, that happens to other people.

When the neurosurgeon says that it is inoperable...you think that it can't be real.

When the oncologist tells you that it is terminal...you think but God is bigger than that.

When God decided to take your beloved home...you are numb.

In December of 2006 when Ron was diagnosed (at age 36) our lives were turned upside down, but even at that point you have no idea what any of it means. We were on our way to a city when he could have treatment (1300 kms from home). We didn't know that our Christmas spent in a hospital TV room would be our last...we were so blessed to be together.

He was so strong and felt really great while he was going through his treatments, when he became critically ill with an infection so suddenly we were in shock. I never left him at the hospital...I stayed by him every night caring for him. When the doctors told us he only had days to live we were crushed, this was only 2 months after his diagnoses...we would never get home together again. The doctors told us they could air ambulance him to the hospital back home for him to die...I wanted to be back home and was so happy for the chance.

God was smiling on us, once we were back home in our small town hospital...Ron flourished. He was in a palliative care room and I was able to stay with him (other than running home to shower and change) all of the time. The doctors and nurses were amazing to us and after a month there we were able to take Ron home, he started to improve so much. He had lost his sight and was only partially mobile, but we were able to sleep in our own bed (he refused a hospital bed at home).

I had home support come in once a day to care for him and let me get out for shopping and such. Otherwise it was our daughter and I caring for Ron, we also had friends and family that would come and spend time with him...his recovery was nothing short of a miracle. Michaela loved to help her daddy, she was always there to help him have a little walk to stretch his legs...or cuddle with him.

Sadly after a couple of months at home Ron's health began to decline. While he had already lost his sight he then lost his hearing and seizures became a daily part of our lives...the doctor decided that Ron had to stay in the hospital again....the tumor had grown out of control.

Ron and Michaela during Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life.

My me and my family joined by a pipe band, during the Relay for Life. Ron said this was the happiest day since he'd been sick.

For the last six weeks of Ron's life I stayed at the hospital with him, most nights so did Michaela...she was so happy to just be with him. I was with him to help him with even the most intimate details of his life and care. To feed him, help wash him...just to care for my husband in the best way possible. While we never stopped praying for a miracle I did have to explain to Michaela that maybe daddy wouldn't be getting better...and may go to Heaven. I don't think I will ever have to say anything more difficult that that.

After Ron passed away (July 28, 2007), I was lost, numb, angry...brokenhearted. I had a hard time getting my life back in order, I just wanted to run away...but I had Michaela to take care of. Thankfully I have an amazing family, group of friends and church who have been with us every step of the way.

I'm feeling more comfortable in my new role as single mum and going on this cruise would be something for just me. To spend it with amazing Christian women, loving the Lord and growing in Him..what a dream. To see speakers that I would never have the chance to see otherwise (and see it all on a luxury ship)...that would be crazy good!!

Now please don't think that through all of this that I did not see the blessing that God gave me, He carried us through all of this. His gifts were very evident through all of the situations and I know that Ron is with our Lord living in glory. I draw closer to God because of the goodness and grace He continues to give me every day.

The hard part is choosing a friend to bring with me, I have been blessed with amazing women in my life...some are sisters by birth and some are sisters in Christ and I love them all.

The woman I would bring is my friend Tamara, she has been by my side every step of these last couple of years. She is my prayer warrior, she lifts me when I'm having a bad day, she will cry with me when I need it and laugh even harder afterwards. We have only known each other for 2 1/2 years, yet I can't imagine my life without her. She will speak honestly to me when needed...but always with love and grace. Her family has become mine and for that I'm so thankful. God knew that I would need her and her family and dropped me in their midst.

I pray for God to lead you to the person who will benefit and be enriched by this cruise, He knows above all who that is.

Craft Room

Here is my new craft room, my friend Laura came over and we finally got it all together...I love that girl!!

It is great to be a project for her website...when she came to visit with her camera I knew we'd be working!

http://www.orgjunkie.com/

Win a New Bedroom

5 minutes for mom is holding a wonderful contest...post a photo of your sleeping angel and you could win a new bedroom suite for them.

Michaela hates when I take pictures of her when she is sleeping...I've promised to stop. She has some pretty funny ones when she would fall asleep is some pretty funny places. Her favourite was our old rocking chair...before she couldn't fit in it anymore. She would climb up with blankie, curl up and have her naps there...oh how I miss naps!!

Seriously

My friends and I (along with our daughters) had an amazing weekend away together. We laughed (and giggled) a lot, we shopped, ate, swam and some even went down water slides (not me).

It was great to share so much fun with out girls, they got to see us being completely silly...and a times we were acting like we were teenagers (okay that isn't that rare). We did things like dancing out of restaurants, singing loudly, waving to lines of cars waiting in road construction lines (and one person even waved back)...we showed our girls that we aren't all about rules and regulations. We showed them that fun is everywhere, we did things that made other people smile (and I'm sure gave them a story to tell when they got home), we showed them that at any age we can be cool...or at least think we are!!

Now about the title of this post, my friends and I say seriously a lot...and I mean A LOT. It is a word that says so much with the tone, of course when you have 3 girls in the back of the van mocking you for this word...by saying it repeatedly...you know you've done a good job and had a good weekend!

Life Happens

Well it has been a while since I posted...things have been pretty darn busy around here.

I'm loving working at Michaela's school, it is an amazing place. It is great to see a facility that really puts God first and is there because people have been obedient to God's calling. Michaela is really enjoying it and she is making new friends and loves learning (oh I pray that continues).

This weekend we have a Mother/Daughter trip planned with a couple of friends. We are going on a road trip to do some shopping and spend time with our girls...we are all so looking forward to it (plus the hotel has a great pool)!!

A couple of weeks ago our church had a EWoman Simulcast with some amazing speakers...loving where we do this is a great chance for us to hear these great women. My favourites were Angela Thomas and Thelma Wells...they both had some pretty amazing things to say. You could just see God's loving shining through these women and how His love got them through some pretty exceptional circumstances.

Well I hear laundry calling (and when it is actually calling then I'd better get down there)!!

Gymnatics and a New Obsession

Today Michaela starts gymnastics...she is so excited. I'm excited because I'm spending the afternoon with my friend Debbie, I haven't spent much time with her in the last week because of school and work and stuff. Her husband is away so we're going to get takeout and hang out for dinner as well...and see who else we can drag over!! I have such a great group of friends that when I need them (or if they need me) we are there...God has blessed me so much!!

Okay I have a new obsession now...it is a little odd...and some may say quite frightening.

The other night while in bed I was channel surfing and came across a PBS station...quite odd in my little life. Anyway they were showing on their pledge drive night Celtic Thunder...now I would like to let you all know that I am Scottish and quite proud of it. My family moved to Canada when I was just over a year old...but we are all still connected with the "mother land". Okay now this show is very commercial or whatever the word would be, but there came a song that I absolutely love and have been listening to on my ipod pretty much constantly for the last few days...now I'm going to try and put a YouTube video in here....

Well I hope I got it right...anyway I just love this boy's voice and this song moves me so much. Now I usually am listening to worship music...or some country music so this is right out there for me.

Okay now you know my guilty pleasure...let me finish by saying all of Celtic Thunder isn't my thing...just a couple of songs...I couldn't get the other one to post.

Well now that my little princess is awake I guess I should get breakfast and my act together and start the day!!

Menu Planning Monday

I haven't done this in a while...and boy do I miss it! Well now that school is in and I'm there 2 days a week I really have to get back at it. I menu planned when Laura started it on I'm an Organizing Junkie quite some time ago...it is really good to be back!

Monday - Chicken Caesar Salad
Tuesday - Homemade Pizza
Wednesday - Manacotti
Thursday - Chicken, potatoes and corn
Friday - Shrimp Scampi
Saturday - Take out!
Sunday - Church Picnic

There now that solves a multitude of problems!!

Bath Time

Michaela was taking a bath tonight...here is our conversation

Me: What is with the water on the floor?
Michaela: I had to go into my room and get my skating skirt
Me: Why would you wear your skating skirt?
Michaela: Because I wanted to be stylin' in the tub

SERIOUSLY!!

School

Well tomorrow is my little girl's first day of school. She is so excited...I am as well. I will be working part time at her school, so while she is there I will be there as well...that sure makes it easier to bring her there.

August was such a busy month for us, but I'm starting to really feel organized and ready to start this new part of our lives.

I'm so excited as well, I've turned the spare room into my new and fabulous craft and sewing room!!! I've just painted it today and over the week I should be able to get it all back together...I'm already starting to feel more creative!! I'll post pictures of it once it is all put together.

Well I'm pretty tired and can't really think while I'm typing, I figured that I should update this blog once in a while. I'll have some pictures to post soon of Michaela's first day at school!!

Home

Well I'm back from my vacation, it was actually quite nice. I didn't arrive until the day before we had planned Ron's Burial, I wanted to make sure that there wasn't any conflict...also once that part was over I knew I would be able to relax.





Ron's mom had the service that she had planned, Michaela and I didn't attend. We did go to to the cemetery before anyone one else arrived so we could be there when everyone arrived from the service. The headstone was beautiful and very well done...I'm so happy with how it turned out. My brother-in-law lead the graveside (even though Ron's mom had the Anglican minister there), Bert did a great job speaking about Ron's heart and his faith...I was very touched by it.





After that we went to a park for a luncheon that Ron's step mom had planned...I stayed for a bit then left. That was pretty much it, Ron's mom and his brothers wouldn't have anything to do with me or Michaela...that was fine and I feel completely done with them.





After that I had a wonderful time visiting with my family, relaxing and reading. My sister lives in a beautiful spot overlooking a beach and park. So much happens in this park, one night there was a movie played (ET). If they would have turned the big screen we could have watched it from her deck!! They even had an all day music even that we could listen to, my nephew brought Michaela and his two girls and they got to dance and enjoy some live music.

This was my view...gorgeous!!

My sister and I went to Spokane shopping for a couple of day, and now Michaela is completely set to start kindergarten (I think she has enough clothes for a few grades)!! We had so much fun, we were even able to catch a few hours of the Highland games there...we enjoy our Scottish heritage.

It felt good to come home and get things in order, I feel ready to start my life again. I almost feel like I've been on pause for the last year...I'm ready for move on now. Not that I will ever forget Ron or stop loving him, but I can't continue to live in the past.

Michaela starts kindergarten in a few weeks (YIKES), and I will be working part time at the school she will be attending...doesn't get much better than that!!

I hope to keep updating this blog more often than I have been...one of my plans anyway!!

Its About Time

I thought that after posting about such a wonderful camping trip maybe I should post some pictures...so now that I finally got them off my camera here ya go!

Our home away from home...the new (to us) tent trailer.

Inside the tent trailer of our dreams! To your right a bed...to your left a table and a bed...this ends the tour!

Camping crafts, during the not so nice days...

Beach time during the great days!!

Jiffy Pop popcorn...a camping staple, even the squirrels liked it.

Well there is a bit of our great camping journey...better late than never I guess!

Lately I've been busy getting my bathroom renovated, trying to get my house back in order and planning to go away next week for Ron's burial. I can't believe how quickly this summer is passing...where does the time go!! I will soon be posting pictures of my new bathroom (it is really the room of my dreams)!!

I will also be getting back on a schedule once I'm back from holidays, I am starting to feel a little less overwhelmed with life. I'm feeling like I need to take a bit more control of the things that I can control like my schedule and my home!!

Well I should get to bed now, I have quite a bit to accomplish tomorrow...touch up paint in my bathroom and finish laundry and bring my van to get serviced before the long drive and a family dinner for my nieces birthday!!

Home Again

Wow am I relaxed!!

I just spent a week with some very great friends, we just relaxed around fires, played games and watched our children run and play!

The start of my great camping adventure was quite dismal and rainy. Setting camp up in the rain leaves a lot to be desired...even Buddy the dog was looking at me with a "You are a complete idiot" look on his face. Even in the rain it wasn't too bad at all, we were able to sit under some tarps and ejoy the fire and each others company.

Thankfully God saw fit to give us a bit (I mean a lot) of sun!! It warmed up from about 8 - 10 degrees celcius to about 30!! We were able to enjoy the beach and catch some rays! The kids were able to get out the floaties and beach toys and play for hours!!

My new tent trailer is amazing (if I could figure out how to turn off the gas alarm it would be even better)!! With a bit of help I was able to get things all connected and now I think I'd be able to do it myself!! Backing the trailer into the carport was a bit of a challenge, thanks to my friend Tamara she was able to get it parked perfectly.

I now have a pile of laundry to get done and get a few things put away and then I'm ready for the next trip!!

A Camping we Will Go!!

Yes tomorrow we will be venturing into the great outdoors and testing out the new tent trailer. I'm so excited, I haven't been camping for 6 years. Ron and I used to go out all of the time in our tent, but since we had Michaela we haven't been out.

We picked out our spots, I'm going out with some very great friends...I'm so looking forward to just enjoying them and our kids playing together.

The house is under some serious bathroom renovations and they are almost done. The second coat of paint will be put on and then it will be ready for the new vanity and counter and sink...I will post pictures once it is all done. I'm so excited about it. While we were in Disneyland my very good friends started the project by pulling out my old tub and putting in a wonderful deep soaker tub, new tile, new floor and now the rest of the stuff. It is so spa like...I'm so blessed!!

Well now I actually need to get my stuff together so I can actually get out and enjoy God's wonderful creation (thankfully with flush toilets and showers)!!

I was a good wife...and now there is proof!!

85 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Worst Blogger Ever!

Yes I know I'm pretty bad, I've just been a bit lazy...or busy...or a bit of both!

We did get our trip to Disneyland in during my absence...it was wonderful!! We had such an amazing time, it was pure fun. I was just thinking today how much fun the world would be if it were more like Disneyland...music always playing...people always smiling. Oh well I guess we need the real world once in a while.

Well next month I'll be heading out of town for Ron's burial...I'm really not looking forward to this trip. The last I talked about Ron's mom and brother wouldn't be attending...well they had a change of heart. I'm not really impressed with it all but they have planned a service (I think to celebrate the person Ron was before he met me were his mom's words), then the graveside, then a luncheon at a park for everyone to attend. This is all a bit too much for me, we had a wonderful service for him after he passed away with people who knew and loved him at our home church. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to all of this being over...oh yeah and that was another great thing about Disneyland...no in laws!!

I have also purchased a tent trailer, this will be so wonderful for us this summer...just to be able to get out and go camping. We have great friends who love to camp and I am so looking forward to spending some serious time with them!!

Well that is about it for now, I will make sure I'm better at updating...and maybe even post a few pictures or something like that!

Sweet Friends

Okay after my very sad and rough week...things got very good.

God just knew that I was feeling overwhelmed with life and all the things that I need to get done. I have to paint my basement suite before new carpet gets installed next Tuesday, my lawn needed to get ready for spring...just a bunch of stuff that I really didn't know how I was going to do it. At Bible study on Monday my very good friend just announced that on Tuesday there would be a work party at my house....so a group of people showed up and got so much done!!! We started painting, ripping out carpet, lawn raked, shed cleared out...they even put training wheels on Michaela's "new to her" bike. God is so good...I went to bed feeling so great (but really really sore)!!!

I'm still painting downstairs, but most of it is done...I love my friends!! I've also decided (with the encouragement of my very good friend) that I MUST get more disciplined in my devotional life, it really is what I need to do to draw closer to the Lord.

I'm also now getting ready for Michaela's birthday party this Saturday (a little earlier than her actual birthday). We are having a pool party, I've got the pool booked so it should be fun!! I've started her goody bags and I think I'll go shopping tonight to get some snacks and stuff.

Well I should get myself together for an Epicure party tonight!

Last Lecture

Okay this is such a mistake, I can't sleep tonight...it is 1:30am now. I got out of bed and decided to watch some tv shows that I've DVR'd. So after watching 30 Rock and my favourite The Office I have started watching Primetime: Last Lecture. It is about a professor who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer...he has only been given a few months to live. He has some wonderful things to share, what is getting me is now they have his wife and children...oh this is hitting really close to home.

Lately I feel like I'm getting into some serious self pity. I can't believe this is where my life is, I hate it. I'm miss Ron so much, I miss having him next to me, being able to laugh with him...it is so hard to be without him.

Okay I have to go to bed now...I need to try and get some sleep.

Oh the Struggles

Okay so yesterday was Ron's birthday, it was such a busy day that I really didn't have time to think too much about things. I also have a friend's 3 children this week while they are away (they are in school during the day so it isn't too much extra..plus they are really great kids).

Anyway, there was a dinner last night with the pastoral candidate and his wife at our Bible study group. They seem to be really great people and I enjoyed getting to know them better. I'm looking forward to hearing Bob speak on Sunday.

Now I struggle with a couple in my group, they are very nice people but I have a few issues with them. I think I was also a bit sensitive last night as well...but when someone announces a praise item about a fellow in town who has a brain tumor (this guys tumor has shrunk). I know that this is my struggle, I wasn't upset that his tumor had shrunk, but upset that this person had made a big deal about it. This is my selfish side, I felt that it was a bit insensitive of him to do this while I was around...now feel free to say "suck it up princess, it isn't all about you". I do know this and I'm trying to deal with it...just give me time.

Now, Ron's mom and brother are still not going to be attending his burial, I am truly hoping that they aren't doing this to upset me...because it really doesn't matter to me if they are there or not. I just hope and pray that they don't regret their decision.

We are now really counting down to Disneyland...6 weeks today!!! A family from our church will be staying in our basement suite for May and June, it will be great to have someone living here while we're away...and taking care of my dog (right Jen)!!

Now I'm off to take wallpaper down...need to get things painted downstairs for said family!!

Save the Drama for your Mama

Yes I haven't posted lately...drama would be why. I don't understand why, if I don't have a husband anymore, I still have to deal with in laws!!

We are planning to bury Ron's ashes this summer in the town where he grew up...and this is where the drama begins. Ron's mom would like another full service, I can't handle one so I say just a graveside service with some people speaking and then a get together afterward. But I've also said if they would like to do a service, I'm okay with that but I can't be a part of it...far too emotional.

Well now she is doing her own service with Ron's brother...oh yeah and they wont be at the burial. I can't believe I'm dealing with this garbage...seriously!!

Anyway I've told them all how I feel and that I'm finished discussing it, I didn't want to sound harsh or play the "wife" card...but I'm not letting others push me around for their own agendas. She has been doing that lately and I'm starting to see through it now.

On to better things...WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!! Yes Michaela and I...oh yeah and my 22 year old nephew are going away at the end of May to the happiest place on earth. I think I've earned it!!

Another Saturday Night!!

Well today wasn't too bad, my niece took Michaela to see Horton Hears a Who this afternoon...that game me a chance to get groceries alone (always a treat). When I was leaving the store I saw a red Mustang...wow did that make me miss Ron. He had a red Mustang that he loved, I hated that car. He couldn't drive it in the winter so it was in the garage while my vehicle would be out in the snow having to get cleaned off before work (or wherever)!! Oh and it was such a gas hog...and he had quite a commute. What I would give to have it back, we sold it last year...Ron was in the hospital but he knew that he wouldn't be driving it again (he had lost his sight by then). I can't believe that this time last year I was staying in the hospital with him...it doesn't seem like that long ago.

The weather was so great today, I finally got the last of my Christmas lights down...now I have to get things ready to put the house on the market. I have some wall paper to take down and a lot of painting to do...sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.

I won't be building a new house now...the bank turned me down for an equity loan (I guess they don't like lending to people who don't have an income). I'm accepting it as God's will, I've prayed about it and I guess it isn't the right thing to do. Every once in a while I'll feel like I need to plan out my life, this week was like that and when the bank turned me down things felt a little out of control. I really need to work on listening and letting God lead my life...not leading myself. He has let me know that where I am right now is where He wants me to be, I don't need to worry about working my focus needs to be on Michaela right now. I felt so much better when I finally let go of things, I know God has plans for my life...I just need to make sure that I'm listening.

Menu Planning Monday

Okay I haven't done this in a while...but I really need to get back into it.

Monday - Spinach and cheese manacotti
Tuesday - Widow's dinner at Debbie's
Wednesday - Chicken, potatoes and broccoli
Thursday - Perogies
Friday - Pizza
Saturday - Spaghetti and meatballs

Sunday will be a free for all...pick at leftovers or whatever!!!

The Ultimate Blog Party

Welcome to my Ultimate blog Party, 5 Minutes for Mom is hosting it as a way to get to know many other bloggers and they are even prizes and stuff!!

So to introduce myself, my name is Ann and I have a gorgeous little girl Michaela who will be 5 next month. In the last year we've been through quite a rough road...with the love of Christ and His saving grace we've made it this far. My husband was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, Grade IV astrocytoma (glioblastoma multiforme), in December '06. After 7 months of fighting this horrible disease we lost the battle. Through it we drew closer to each other and even closer to our Lord, He lifted us on days we couldn't get up and brought joy on days where we couldn't smile.

I am now a widow raising my wonderful little girl with the help of a wonderful family, amazing friends and a church that loves and cares for us. God has given us so many blessing as we've moved from one stage of our lives to another.

My blog is about trying to get my focus back, to find my way back into this world...to know where I'm suppose to be to glorify the Lord.

Thanks for stopping by, I'm looking forward to going through the other blogs and getting to know and being inspired by some wonderful women out there in blogland!!

I'm Still Here

Yes it has been a while since I posted...but I'm still here...just really tired!!

My eyes aren't seeing too well right now...usually it is just my age but tonight it is because I got mine and Ron's income tax done...WOOHOO. Now I just have to find Ron's access number (that I know came in the mail) and I can efile them.

This week has been a tough one. I haven't slept well all week...but I've watched season three of The Office (including commentaries, bloopers and deleted scenes) that is one of my favourite shows...probably not the right thing to watch when I'm trying to sleep.

So another month has gone by and I can't believe tomorrow is March 1st. I'm so ready for spring this year...it seems to have been a long long winter!! I'm excited because on Sunday I get 3 girls and an adult from the Watoto Children's Choir staying with me for 2 nights. I'm really looking forward to seeing them in concert at our church on Sunday night...and to spend the day with them on Monday will be such a treat. I hope that we are able to bless them with comfort, rest and love.

This month I need to start living with more discipline, getting a schedule for my home and meal planning and all that stuff. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed at times and setting a schedule would fix that so easily. I need to set my priorities and start living a more purposeful life. I need to get more into God's word and really get my prayer and devotional life back in order.

Oh yeah and I went to the bank today to see if I'd be able to get a line of credit to build a house, but because I don't have an income they aren't sure if I would qualify. So frustrating, so next week I'll know if I'm building a home or looking for one that is already built. What I do know is that either way I know it will be God's will and I'm okay with that. I do know that I need a small er house, this house is just too big for the two of us.

So there it is, my life in a nutshell...I hope I wasn't too down here. I'm actually pretty happy right now, I have some really great friends in my life and we've even taken time to spend with each other. The last couple of Tuesday's I've been able to get together with a couple of friends for what we call widow's dinners (I'm actually the only widow...the others hubby's are just away or working). We've had great times with that, our kids play together and we get to visit, laugh and just enjoy each other. I'm looking forward to this Tuesday at my house. I've gotten to spend time with my friend Laura now that the roads aren't so bad and she can actually make it here...awesome. I have another friend who has been such a huge blessing to me and my family. God brought them into my life just as we were finding out Ron was ill...His timing is perfect.

Anyway now that I've gone down so many rabbit trails in this post that I don't know which way is up. I'm heading to bed and hopefull will sleep for a very long time!!!

I'm Exhausted

You know when you get so angry and resentful that it is almost tiring...that is how I feel today. Not because of how angry and resentful I am...but I had a dream about it. I dreamt that I was blaming several people for Ron's death. He died for different reasons in my dream and I was really blaming people for it. I woke up this morning just wiped right out, I had a very hard time getting out of bed. Today Michaela and I are having a jammie day, I just don't have it in me to go out anywhere, not even to take her to preschool.

I have had such a great last few days, I mean great...maybe this is my own guilt for having fun...who knows. Maybe I just need a day of resting and doing nothing...I don't think that is it. I think I'm just having a day where I truly miss Ron, I wish I could blame someone...I get angry with God for taking him. I know God is very forgiving with me for this, I know He has His reasons for what we went through...I just wish I knew (but at least Ron knows).

I know that today I will need to spend some time meditating on God's word...asking for some help...and some forgivness.

God is Good!!

God has been very good to me the last couple of days (okay, He is always good to me)!! But He has given me rest and great company the last couple of days.

Saturday, as written, was a great day, yesterday after church a good friend took Michaela for the afternoon. I was able to catch up on laundry and get some housework done...it just seems so much easier when the house is empty. Today my sister came into town and we got to go for lunch and visit with each other, plus Michaela was happy because my niece came with her two kids...they are all the same age (yes I did say my niece's kids). I just got a message from a friend to go to her house for dinner tomorrow, her kids and Michaela all get along well...YES!!!!

We have had such a crazy winter and I'm so ready for it to end, we've had some very nice weather the last couple of days...that always helps. It is so good so feel a bit of spring!!

I have to do a craft this week for "Take a Break"...we're decorating a flower pot (I'm sure others need a bit of spring like me)!! So now I have to figure out how we'll decorate it and get the stuff.

Now I've got to get my stuff together for our Bible Study appy night...yeah food!!!

What a Great Day!

Today was my jammie day...I was just going to hand around the house and maybe do some house work...or maybe not. Then I got a call from a good friend asking if I wanted to go shopping with her...YES!!!

So the plan was that she was coming into town (we live about 45 min apart), we would meet for lunch with her hubby and 3 kids. Her hubby was taking their kids to visit his dad at some property and he took Michaela with him...not only did I get to spend time with Laura we got to shop without kids!!

We had such a great time, we went into stores that are hard to shop in with kids. I love days like today, it was a surprise and totally not what I had planned...but it was great and just what I needed.

God knew I needed some time to myself, I needed to spend time with a friend and just enjoy myself..and I did!!

Another Day

Well I'm a little disappointed today, my sister was going to come here for a visit (she lives 45 min away) but we're having some serious snow and wind...kind of like a blizzard ...okay exactly like a blizzard. So I don't get to visit with her...but that is okay I'd rather wait to see her than worry as she is driving here.

I met with a realestate agent yesterday about selling my house and maybe either buy or building a new smaller house...it went very well. So now I have a few things to do to the house...installing baseboards is the big one and then some painting and a bit of decluttering.

So now I'm going to make some chili and buns for supper, I have some friends who having been working pretty hard so I've told them to come over whenever and eat...so now I still get to visit with people that I love!!!

I Need More Stress

So I'm thinking that my life is so stress free that maybe this would be a good time to sell my house and get something smaller...yeah that is a good idea.

I was planning on doing a bunch of work on the house this year, so I start thinking about it last weekend (which is generally dangerous). I spoke with good friends of mine (who was going to do the work) and ask if it is worth it to put all that money into this house or look for something that fits us better.

So I went to see a realestate agent today and she is going to come and see the house tomorrow to give me an idea of how much we'd get for this house so I know what I'm looking at for a new house.

Now if that isn't stressful enough...I might have the house built instead. Actually I don't think that would be too bad, I have great friends to do the work...God really was looking out for me when he brought them into my life!!!

So I will be praying and asking if this is the right decision for Michaela and I...if I'm taking care of the gift God has given me. If you think of it please pray about this decision...nothing would happen for a few months.

Oh and the bark collar is really doing a great job...I'm wondering why I didn't get one of these ages ago!!

My Dog

This is Buddy, we've had him for just over 2 months now. He is a great little dog...however he has a few bad habits. First one is he barks, he barks when the cat gets away from him, he barks when he hears strange noises...he barks into thin air. I'm planning on getting a dog trainer to work on some of his issues...but the barking I'm going to take care of myself.

I bought a Citronella spray bark collar...it is the humane kind so no need to call PETA on me. When he barks he'll get a little spray (actually the spray goes away from his face), the sound and the scent is suppose to deter him from barking...I really hope this helps!!

Okay while I'm sitting here typing this he just barked at the cat...and it worked he stopped right away. So far so good!!

Sleep

Okay this is insane...it is midnight and here I am tapping away on the keyboard in bed (love the laptop)! I just can't sleep tonight...I have nights like this about once a week. It is so different than I've always been, I've always been an early to bed early to rise type of person. I was always in bed by 9pm and usually up at around 4:30 - 5am (I know its insane)...I loved those hours.

Now I drag myself out of bed in the morning, I generally still go to bed at around 9 or 10pm...but I usually watch tv until 11pm and then try and get to sleep. I'm still trying to adjust to this new sleep schedule...I just wish my life would go back to the way it was and stay there.

I think caring for Ron when he was sick is what messed up my schedule, I was up with him at least 5 lots of times much more each night. Because he had lost his sight he couldn't tell if it was morning or night...so if he wanted something (even just to know the time) he had to wake me. I have to say that I would do it all again for him...I miss him every moment of the day. I loved the fact that I could take care of his every need, even the most personal and always felt it was such an honour to do this for him. We often joked about this sort of thing...I'm so glad he had a sense of humor even during the tough times.

Well I'm going to try and get a bit of sleep tonight...I'll have to see if there are any Law and Order reruns on!!

Time to update

Well I guess it is time I updated the ol' blog. I did finish Michaela's room and I'm so happy with how it turned out. She did help me paint and managed to stay pretty clean as well...we had a great time working on it together. The hardest part was putting all the furniture together...that was a big project!! But thankfully got it all done and now she loves her new room..so do I.

These curtains are the best, they are ribbons...I thing they are too funky.

Finally she has a mirror right at her level, I didn't get the mirror with the dresser...to expensive!

The great loft bed...she loves it.

The best part...extra play area under it!

Well there you go, a little update anyway...maybe someday I'll get better at this!

From Princess to Butterfly

My little girl is growing up...far too quickly!!!

I am changing her bedroom from a pink princess bedroom to a purple butterfly room. I'm so excited about it, I've just bought a new loft bed, dresser, bookshelf...all the cool stuff I never had when I was a child. Sometimes I worry that I spoil her...and I probably do, but really it will be such a cool room!!

Now the hard part...I have to do this all by myself (well Michaela did say she would help paint)! I'm just avoiding clearing the room out right now, getting it all ready and cleaned so we can start painting tomorrow (between swimming lessons and skating). I have boarder to put up, new blinds and curtains to hang and some flower stick ups...oh yeah and all of the furniture needs to be assembled. I even bought a new cordless screwdriver today in anticipation (I know Ron has a cordless drill around here somewhere but I haven't come across it yet)!!

Well I guess all that stuff isn't going to get up and walk out of the bedroom, so off I am to begin the task of giving her the coolest room ever!!!

Home Sanctuary

Well it is time to make my home a sanctuary...it hasn't felt like that in a while.

I've been feeling very overwhelmed with life lately and have let things get away from me. Not that my home is a hovel or anything...but it certainly isn't up to the standards that it was before we went through Ron's illness. Now it is time to pull up my socks and get back at it. Rachel Ann at Home Sanctuary is doing something called small things, this is perfect for me.

If I had my way I would isolate myself from the world right now, I wouldn't leave the house (okay maybe for a little Wal-Mart therapy), I would just stay here where life is easier. During the holidays I was able to stay home more, no school, skating, swimming, piano...or any of those things for Michaela. I have realized that as these things start up again next week that I will be challenging myself to get out to them...I need to. I like my comfort zone, I'm not one to willingly step "outside the box"...I like my box.

Well I have to get myself together now, I have to get groceries and I have a meeting for a church group this afternoon...not bad for today!!

Snow and Stuff

We are having a great snow fall right now and I love it. I have no where to go and a great neighbour who does my driveway...doesn't get much better than that!! Infact we've already been out and made a snowman (I mean snow girl)!!

This is the beginning of a new year, New Years Eve was quite a sad event for me. Not the usual horn blowing, pot banging stay awake late night. Ron asked me to marry him on New Years Eve...seems like only yesterday. Now 2008 starts without him, I look forward to the new things that the year will bring...but I long for what I had.

I try not to dwell on negative things, I have my moments and then try to move on.