Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Biting the Bullet

Well after my last post, things kind of went from bad to worse. I really felt like I was in a pit and couldn't get out.

Four years ago I started a medications called Effexor XR for anxiety, I was not happy to be going on it but it really helped me a lot. I had often talked to the doctor about getting off of it...but the time never seemed right. Well this spring we decided that I could try and come off. Now you can't just stop taking this need to go down in dosage very very gradually. I was able to completely stop taking it in June, I felt such a sense of accomplishment.

After this last week I decided I needed to go back to the doctor and start up again. I spent a great deal of time in prayer and the Word, while I would like nothing more than to be free of any medication I know that right now I do need to be on this medication.

The first little while on this drug is tough, there are side effects...I'm just waiting for them to go away so I can start feeling normal again!!

On thing that makes me very happy is having Jen here with me!!

Friday, August 7, 2009


I'm amazed that it has now been 2 years since Ron passed away, I'm not sure where those years have gone. I can see them in the difference in Michaela, how she has grown in these last couple of breaks my heart that they have been without her daddy.

I'm feeling very down right now, for the last little while things have been pretty tough. We went on holidays, which was very good...I got to visit my family and Michaela got to see her grandparents. We were gone for nearly 3 weeks and that seemed to be a little too long to be away from home...I just really wanted to be home!!

When Ron passed away I discovered that he had very little life insurance, not something that when you are in your thirty's you think too much about. There was enough that I figured I wouldn't have to work and would be able to focus on Michaela for a couple of years...those years are done...and so is the insurance.

Now I'm responsible to support my little family on my own...that really stresses me out. I will be working at Michaela's school and really that is the biggest blessing that I could have been given. I know that I could find a job that pays much more and has more hours...but for a single mother working where your child goes to school is ideal.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me, I've been in prayer for God's leading. I want my life to be in His will and pray that I will be more dependant on Him.